does everyfuckingbody have to use her weird/awesome face in their ads? What ever happened to 'ol Nitetrane Cocaine Kate (yeah, I know, models doing coke, jump back!)? She was giving Sigue Sigue Sputnik and Gary Busey a run for they money. I actually counted the number of pictures of Kate in the magazine, due to being almost insulted by her sinister ubiquity. The grand total was her face: 18 times, the world: 0. or thereabout. Some ads had her puss three times--triple threat!, Everybody else had her once. Yet none of them would have had her if Karl Lagerfeld hadn't campily waved his omniscient fan and bellowed his will 
upon the model agencies. Thankfully, VF gave us some doinged nips (albeit tastefully shot in black & white) to boot. Vanity Fair actually did yet another article on Kate and how she's still fabulous and she's popular and smart and pretty and people really like her! Fuck y'all. This marking VF's second cover story on Kate Moss in less than 10 months. God, Vanity Fair, why don't you just fucking make out with her already. The earlier cover story was about her being lost, coked-out and uncertain about her commercial viability. Amazing what a few months can do. Just seeing the block quotes in this article made me almost want to go back to the front of the magazine and actually read Dominick Dunne's column. Almost. Ok, maybe I'm being a little harsh on the guy. After all he did give the world Griffin Dunne....er, well Dominique Dunne....er, how about Dunneston Checks In?. Now, I know what you're saying: It's my 
fault for reading Vanity Fair in the first place. After all, the name of the magazine kind of says it all. But for some reason I'm compelled to read about the lives of the rich fuckers and good dressers. I actually enjoy reading about people who vacation in the Hamptons, take treasure baths, tie the perfect Windsor knot, laugh at jokes about Truman Capote and Henry Kissinger, smoke fancy cigarettes made from the finest antique Moroccan red burley, rolled in crisp fifty dollar bills and bundled with rarest whisp of Roman Polanski's hair--and vacation some more in Greenwich, Connecticut between high-powerd blow jobs, inviting Paris Hilton to crap, and Fashion Week. Man, I'm so fucking jealous! Maybe I should write about something else. Musics
It's been a while, so here are some jammers I downloaded recently. And, yes, I do believe that in an ironic twist, downloading music using state of the art technology somehow makes you Low-Fi. So, go discuss.
Gordon Lightfoot- Bobby McGee
Yeah, I hate this song, too. However, where Bono and U2 failed to "take back" Helter Skelter from Charles Manson, Lightfoot pulls a major yoink and completely upsets the Joplin camp. Lightfoot wins the pennant! Lightfoot wins the pennant! The G-man at least makes it seem sincere, instead of some bad fodder for ensuing karaoke battles in the year 2006. If you were wondering, Gord's not gay. He simply switched pronouns to make Bobby a chick, which is like way hotter.
The Association- One Too Many Mornings
So, we all know Never My Love and Cherish. Did you know that the Association actually have a greatest hits album? Far out! They have like 10 songs on it.....no fucking way! This particular song isn't on said greatest hits record because the bad guys are always trying to keep them down--they dangerously flirt with a taint of rock and roll here. Sure, most of these guys either got into computer science or commited suicide in 1978 after they got divorced twice and ended up being satin-jacketed bingo drunks down at the local V.F.W., but back in the day, well, I'm gonna have to share this small snippet of an actual conversation between Peter Frampton and producer Curt Boettcher in 1980:
Frampton: "The Grass Roots?"
Boettcher: "Nah."
Frampton: " The Fifth Dimension....Wait. Grass Roots?"
Boettcher: "No!"
Frampton: "Pussy?"
Boettcher: "The Association."
Frampton: "Harper's Bizarre!"
Boettcher: "Ass-ociation, brother. Let's do another fucking gram of this shit!"
Need I say more?
The Gossip- Listen Up
I got this one free from the iTunes store. Whatever. It was free. Usually the free song from iTunes is some meritless bullshit from a bunch of dicks you've never heard of but are considered "hot" because some record company stooge blew the right rep. This time... it would be different! This time it would involve indie cred! Enter: The Gossip! Hey, I got a solid-gold idea- make some anemic disco music that sounds like a bunch of maladjusted indie assholes acting as if they could ever even have sex with someone outside of their band, let alone jam Rod Stewart's Da Ya Think I'm Sexy in the tour van without irony. When are people going to realize that Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? is the fucking jam? Accept it, roll with it, learn from it, and your own shit won't sound so fucking missionary. And please quit with the non sequitors- "1-2-3 take it from me"--come on. yr song blows. How's that for indie cred?
