2007 F'N A

Alright, before y'all dis my nuts, I realize that the last blog wasn't the grip. As a matter of fact, my summary of the year that was was downright abysmal. I mean really, have you ever written something that you thought was pretty clever and then went back to read it realized that you were a sped? Flip me! Already 2007 is imposing its awesome will and is proving to be even more bananas than last year. Unfortunately, they went ahead and executed Saddam Hussein back in o-six. Apparently, they were scheduled to do it in conjunction with Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve, but when Shiite leaders realized that Ryan Seacrest would be in Dick Clark's stead, they opted for bumping the ex-dictator's execution to 2006. " We were all like, Dick Clark out? Fuuuuck that! The only way we're dropping Saddam for the new year is if we get Carson Daly and Meatloaf to perform on Dick Clark's Rocking New Year's Eve," Justice Ministry aide Sami al-Askari said. After intense negotiations, Dick Clark Productions managed to land rotund rocker Meatlof, but failed to entice Carson Daly. Daly's camp contends he was already contractually bound to host the hipper, more youth-oriented, New Year's Eve With Carson Daly- featuring Panic At The Disco, OKGO, Fire At The Taco Bell, and 20-something trendsetters with their fingers on the pulse of cool: Tommy Lee and Dave Navarro. " Bullshit! Son of a cock Carson Daly! Carson Daly is no-show! Carson Daly is dead to our people. May he languish in his late evening manorexic hell! Let's do this, bitch," al-Askari said minutes before bumping the Hussein execution to 2006. 2007 has already seen Steve Yzerman's #19 sweater retired to the cerulean blue rafters of the Joe Louis Arena, Donal Logue's new sitcom premeired, Kellogg's Cereal City cereal-themed amusement complex closed its doors, The final episode of The O.C. is slated for this year, Whitney Houston is auctioning off her underwear (that's sooo hot!), Betty finally fucking got kicked off Top Chef, and an impending comet catastrophe is scheduled for February! 2007. Fucking A.