Suzanne Vega was right. My name is Luka. Listen, that's what I've been doing a lot of lately, listening. Dig this big crux- I don't need an iPod these days. I have my catalog on my computer, which in turn is connected to my stereo, which in turn, is connected to loudspeakers throughout the crib, which can bypass with a go/no go switch straight into a biomorphic input jack on my skull, dudes. It was several months after figuring out that I could jack my computer to my stereo and skip the middle-man for deep discounts. I wish I knew you didn't really need an iPod as long as you had iTunes on deck. I know what you're saying- the iPod is convenient and portable. Well, I dont port it to my car cuz I dint wanna spend 80.00 on a transmitter, plus AM is much better for your car. Secondly, just what I need: something else in my car to worry about getting jacked. Ok, so the solution is to get a portable speaker/docking station so you can take your thing somewhere away from your speakers and jam. OK. Uh....the garage? Unlikely, because if you live in Detroit, you're gonna have a hard time setting up because of all the garage rockers and their full-clevelands and vintage musical equipment all up in your carport and shit. However, if you're patient enough, those pesky garage rockers will grow tired of the negativity in Detroit and move to Nashville. Nashville is the new Seattle! So anyway, the other problem with the iPod is that everybody including my dad has one. So if there is a situation that calls for jams, everybody brings they iPods and then it's a cluster cuz then you have to fight over whose iPod is going to be used- and even if you figured that one out, it's blowy because you've already shared all your fucking files with your dumb friends and they have the same catalogue you do minus the embarassing stuff you didn't want anybody to know you listen to in the first place. What do you do? And another thing is that when you busy trying to be on the cutting edge of technology, you bought one of the early iPods and it seems like it's about the size of a VHS tape at this point- plus it doesn't even have video so you can watch whatever the fuck on a really tiny screen or whatever. What do people watch on iPods anyway? Episodes of Ned & Stacey? So there you are with your dumb obsolete iPod. Little heads up- don't buy one of the first iPhones. Wait. Cuz by Christmas next year they'll have a better model...with a laser pointer. Let's rock!
Recent downloads:
Lip Gloss- Lil' Mama
When it's, time for lunch, my lips still rock
Lil' Mama melon with da hot pink top
Cherry, vanilla, flavors is a virture
Dey, lovin! Lip gloss universal
The boys really like it, the girls don't speak
They - rollin they eyes, they lip gloss cheap
It ain't my fault, but I could up-graaade ya
Show you how to use nice things with nice flaaaavas
Some people toil and sweat over lyrics, others are just blessed. Best single of the year- hands down.
Train For Tomorrow- Electric Prunes
It's not the best song ever by not the best band ever, but I marvel at the queer production of this tune. It's so drenched with reverb and atmosphere it hardly has an unmuffled sound save the clap/snare. And just when you think you're safe, there's a jazz interlude worthy of Jim Morrison's mellowtop and/or Chris McInnis' mellow foundations. But seriously, have you ever wondered why the fuck you'd call your band the Electric Prunes? Maybe Electric Dildos was taken. I can understand the electric part- it make a lot of words seem awesomer, but prunes? Why not apricots or raisins or dates or figs?
Single I tried to sell back to iTunes: Peter Bjorn and John- Young Folks. I might like this song again in about 2 years, but right now it's running dangerously close to Hey Ya! territory.
1 comments:
Yeah, I've got an old-timey iPod, too. And it's 4th generation, 40 gigglebytes, so it WAS the shit only 2 years ago. Then they came out with the photo ipod, which seemed dumb. (Photo ipod buyers are the ones i feel most sorry for, since a month after it dropped, they released the video ipod for the same price.) Dave, the guy who hated computers, ipods, mp3s, internets, etc only a couple of years ago, now has the 80 gig one (in black, of course). Last time I saw him, he looked at my yellowing antiquated model, laughed, and said "Look at the size of that thing. It's huge!" Then he laughed again. I laughed, too, but I was crying inside.
I still like my ipod. I take a train to work each day, so it's great for me. I also get my jam on at the gym, like the dude in the Verizon ad listening to gay falloutboy on his gay phone. My phone won't play music, and even if it did (actually, it probably does), I hate people who talk on cellphones at the gym, so I use my iPod. I don't listen to gay Fall Out Boy, either. However, for the average citizen, there is no need for something so portable. I'm not sure where this is going, but Apple can suck it with the new iPhone. $600 for something you can get for free (but not quite as cool looking)? No thanks. Not unless they throw on a Marc Jacobs logo. Then it would be awesome.
That lil mama song is awesome, too. And I think Electric Figs is a good name.
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