New Balance Fades

Whenever I hear the word culture, I reach for my revolver. Hanns Johst, Schlageter, act 1 scene 1

Ok, I'm offically offended. Insulted, even. I'm mortified! Put 'em up, put 'em up! No, it's not that I used a pretentious block quote that i got from a unsubstantiated internet source to kick things off...No, it's not Paris Hilton again- I'm totally over that dude. Someone--and you shall remain nameless, Dylan Adair-- has designed a Joy Division sneaker for New Balance. The shoe uses the imagery from the Peter Saville's iconic Unknown Pleasures cover art. I don't even know where to begin with this information. I guess we could dismantal commodity culture, but then we might get accused of being into that shitty Consolidated band, or worse, into social studies. Remember those kids in school that were into social studies? They looked and dressed all stage crew except they knew who Ayn Rand was, could pronounce her name correctly, and were aware of other cultures. Anyway, this particular bullshit bothers me much more than other bands being used to sell crap. I don't know why exactly-- believe me, there are plenty of other atrocity exhibitions concerning cross-market lifestyle segmentations adapted to exploit target demographic subsets associated with niche culture and perceived brand equity (on net unduplicated audiences). Hot Topic( a NASDAQ publicly traded corporation) exists for God's sake! The Ramones and the Misfits are popular brands. I've seen unspeakable horrors: Motorhead onesies, Misfits panties, Slayer moccasins, Negative Approach umbrellas, Velvet Underground jogging suits. ok, i made that last one up. My point is this- Joy Division were an incredible and important band. New Balance are a great shoe company--especially in Europe, because all great shoes are only available in Europe. it's like some sort of fucked-up shoes club that you aren't invited to join because you live in America and you blow. That's fine, Europe, you keep your awesome shoes, and we'll keep the personal watercraft. Think about that the next time you want go jet-skiing. Getting back to Joy Division- Joy Division's mythos and gravitas are more akin to a great body of literature than a pair of trainers (that's what they call shoes in England and Luxembourg). I'm imagining what Dickens might have thought about his Tale Of Two Cities Adidas. Now I'm imagining what Charles Dickens would look like naked. It's a fun little parlor game- imagining what famous authors look like naked.
And if you really ever want to take Geoffery Chaucer, Dante Alighieri, Albert Camus, or Fyodore Dostoevsky down a notch, picture them taking a dump between penning chapters- one world, one love, bro. Wait, so what the fuck was i talking about? oh, right, shoes. The "trainers" in question are, in their own right, not too shabby. The understated design is nice-looking, and to use an even better descriptive adjective, good. So i don't have a problem with the aesthetic qualities of the product. However, the only design i have seen depicts white shoes, which can be problematic. If you're totally not into "getting your Jordan's scuffed," you might not totally be into the white- plus you can only wear them between Memorial Day and Labor Day, which sucks for those melencholic walks you like to take in the Fall. Ultimately, it's up to the wearer if this product seems like a good idea or not. Who the fuck is going to buy these shoes? Get the Dickens Adidas.