Wooderson Voted Most Hottest Bachelor

Mc Attick
In an event that can only be described as McConaughanian in scope, Matthew McConaughey- you try spelling it- was voted People magazines' Hottest Bachelor 2007. Now, I'm no pro, but like, really? Everytime I saw him in the pictures this year, he's been shirtless, short-armed, overtanned, and hobo. McConaughey is becoming an archetype unto himself. He's that guy who works out all the time, wears bandanas, meditates, and cleans up real nice for a little romantic comedy or just gets arrested for marijuana possession after being found playing the bongos naked in his home. I mean how many people like that do we all know? Types. It makes sense, seeing how McConaghey is a sun sign, Scorpio. Scorpio's are usually just like Robert Scorpio from General Hospital- but like when he was chasing Luke and Laura to find the rare and elusive Ice Princess diamond, not like the end when they had all that monkey virus bullshit after Scorpio was presumed dead from a boat explosion. Although his birth time is unknown, we know he has his Moon in Virgo. And thank God we know that much. When asked what he thought of the award, McCognauhey replied " Say man, you got a joint?" The Associated Press replied "no,not on me man..." prompting McConaughey to state: "It'd be a lot cooler if you did." All of this noteriety stems from McConaughey's landslide 2005 "Sexiest Man Alive" victory that made Patrick Dempsey, Viggo Mortensen, and Vince Vaughn look like total pieces of shit. But what makes this handsome award-winner such a hot crotch? "My favorite thing to do alone is jam in my truck and drive," a revealing answer from the down-to-earth outdoorsy gay. But McConaughey understands that his chiseled physique has as much to do with his award-winning bachelorism as his southern hobo charm does. When asked what makes his abs so much more fucking awesome than ass-friend Jake Gyllenhaal's, McConaughey is quick to reply: "Let me tell you what Melba Toast is packin' right here, alright. We got 411 Positrac outback, 750 double pumper Edelbrock intakes, bored over 30, 11 to 1 pop-up pistons, turbo-jet 390 horsepower. We're talkin' some fuckin' muscle." I'm just fuckin' around, I love McConaughey and his short-armed jams. Plus, did you know that Matthew McConaghey's brother's name is Rooster? Fuckin' A.

Top 5 McConaughey Jams
1. Reign Of Fire
2. We Are Marshall
3. How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days
4. The Newton Boys
5. Dazed And Confused

Top 3 McConaughey Girlfriends
1. Penelope Cruz
2. Jake Gyllenhaal
3. Kate Hudson