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Betwixt cocktails, re-runs and first-runs of Rock of Love, and placing several tiny adds in newspapers for profit, I have some spare time to check out music on the computer. Not a lot of it is particularly worthwhile, but it gives someone like me, with a busy schedule, the opps to act like I'm still a music fan and pay a bunch of money to get some bad-on binary codes and just let my comptroller emmulate some jameses. This week was particularly fruitful. Big ups to Gerald Naftaly, Mayor, Oak Park Michigan, you my boy.
Boyce & Hart- 'I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight'
I'm always looking for alternative sources for music because I lead such an alternative lifestyle. When I'm not eavesdropping on the kids by the Korn lunchboxes at Hot Topic (BTW, @ HT, THEY DON'T SAY 'BACK TO SCHOOL,' THEY SAY 'B2S,' just a little heads-up, in case you wanted to hang at the 'Topic), I'm constantly scanning and probing uncharted territories to find out about alternative music. So, as it were, I were headbanging to some oldies station, that was actually on a cable television channel, when I got freaked out because I heard my fucking jam. The city of Oak Park has a cluster of stations dedicated to community access, so whenever I'm not checking out 7 Mile To Belle Isle, and I am checking out what the fuck is going down at the library, or scopin' what's new on the seniors scene, or researching recycling procedures, I get to feast on whatever awesome station they have on in the background. My jam was Boyce & Hart's 'I Wonder What She's Doing Tonight.' First, it was like the second time I had heard that one in a fortnight. However, I had no idea who it was. So I did what any concerned citizen/self-elected block captain would do, and called the mayor's office to find out who in the world does the song that's on public access channel 15 right this second. Surprisngly, mayor Naftaly answered the phone and proceeded to tell me it was the Beau Brummels. I said, get the fuck out of here, that ain't the Beau Brummels, honky. He continued to try to convince me and started shootin' his mouth off about how he was in a bublegum band called The Cough Drops. I whipped out my last remaining bullshit card and used it on his hillbilly ass. After that, he retreated and rolodexed his old drummer Don over at Water and Sewerage (cronyism), and Don said it was Boyce & Hart. The mayor continued talking about the Beau Brummels, trailing off several times until he asked Don if they should get the band back together. This week, after several attempts to find some Boyce & Hart on iTunes, I managed to solve the iCryptograph and iType in Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart.....domino, motherfucker! Also, The Honorable Gerald F. Naftaly, Mayor, would like to announce the reunion of Oak Park, Michigan's own, The Cough Drops (all-original line-up minus Bill Spokes and Don Lesbian) WSG/ Red Hat Society of Southern Oakland County reading passages from Homer's Odyssey (Edward Smith-Stanley,14th Earl of Derby's translation, not that cretin Martin Hammond's) 6:30 PM at pavillion # 2, September 12, 2007.
THE SHOCKING BLUE- "Out of Sight, Out of Mind"
According to legend, the Shocking Blue are primary figures in the Dutch Invasion, an often overlooked invasion--not unlike how dudes always forget the Reanaissance in Northern Europe. While Greene and other art fags want you to believe that Rome and Florence were the respective centers of the universe, they simply weren't. Bitches act like they never heard of Jan Van Eyck! Oh, yeah, woops! Conveniently forgot about The Ghent Alterpiece. Heya, we're Italiana, looka ata us! We have mustaches and speghetti and all our famous Renaissance artists have the same names as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...we-a win-a! Don't make me bust Pieter Bruegel the Elder out of his time-cage, he's likely to make you wish he never painted The Triumph of Death! I suppose I should let well-corduroyed nerdz battle this one in their texts, because frankly, I'm getting worked-up here. Most folks know the Shocking Blue from their big hit,"Venus." It's been used in women's razorblade commercials,so they got that check coming to them. Some other heshers might also recognize "Love Buzz," which Seattle heavy-metalers Nirvana covered on their debut album, Bleach. Do yourself a favor and get the Shocking Blue's version while you're at it- you'll wish everyone used sitars on their dumb songs. If you aren't familiar with the Flemish band, try-out the (partial) greatest hits on iTunes, it's virtually flawless, much like Dutch design...don't get me started! Here's the 5-star shake, if you must-
1. Venus
2. Love Buzz
3. Out of Sight, Out of Mind
4. Hot Sand
5. Shocking You